Why Boundaries Matter More Than Ever
Starting college is a huge milestone; it is exciting, overwhelming, and often a bit disorienting. Whether you’re moving across the state or commuting from home, this transition brings significant changes to your routines, relationships, and identity. As a therapist who specializes in online therapy for college students in California, I’ve seen just how impactful this life shift can be on mental health.
And while there’s no single roadmap for navigating college life, one thing makes a world of difference: clear boundaries.
Setting a boundary at the beginning is so much easier than trying to change one later.
Once people become used to specific patterns, like constant availability, saying yes to every favor, or sharing everything, it becomes harder to undo. You might feel guilt, worry about hurting someone’s feelings, or even fear losing the connection. But if your boundaries aren’t supporting your mental health, they’re not sustainable.
Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re guides. They help you protect your time, energy, and values so you can thrive, not just survive.
Another critical but tricky area is shifting your relationship with family after moving out. Even when you’re technically “on your own,” it’s common to feel pressure to check in constantly or come home often. Without talking about it, these expectations can lead to guilt, stress, or conflict.
Here are a few boundary conversations worth having with your family:
- How often will you check in?
Will it be a quick text each day? A weekly phone call? Monthly FaceTimes? Finding a rhythm that works for both you and your family can ease tension and promote independence. - Will you share your location?
Some parents want ongoing visibility but it’s okay to say that you prefer checking in on your own terms. Being available doesn’t mean being monitored 24/7. - What are the visitation expectations?
If your college is close to home, are you expected to come back every weekend? If it’s farther, how often will you visit, or have family visit you? These conversations ahead of time prevent misunderstandings down the road.
Whether you’re attending a large university in LA, a community college nearby, or transferring mid-year, the start of college is the perfect opportunity to explore who you are and what you need, not just academically, but emotionally and relationally too.
At Eras in Bloom Therapy, I specialize in helping students across California adjust to this new chapter. Through telehealth therapy for college students, we work on building confidence, managing anxiety, and learning how to assert boundaries in a way that feels authentic and empowering.
Because the goal isn’t to push people away, it’s to build connections that honor your needs as much as everyone else’s.
your healing journey today.